Monday, June 2, 2008
When it comes to building relationships for what some of us seemed to consider less-than-pure motivation, I really do think it helps to realize that just because you are using a connection you've made (or, making one on purpose), it doesn't mean you are shamelessly using that other person. Chances are, if the relationship can benefit you, at some point, it may benefit them as well. As long as you are willing to be reciprocal in the relationship, and as long as you aren't acting unethically in other ways to trick them, or fool them into helping you, it is perfectly natural to draw on others' strengths and input.
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It may also be worth pointing out that not all relationships are friendships. A professional relationship is not a friendship—and while it may be possible to have a friendship and a professional relationship with the same person, it probably diminishes both. One enters into a professional relationship because one seeks a benefit, but enlightened self-interest generally recommends that the benefit be reciprocal. Reciprocity is not, however, fundamental to a friendship. Friendship is fundamentally different. While friendships are never perfect, the most perfect are those in which each desires the other’s good without regard for himself.
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