Confessions of A Former Mondernist

When I entered BSU Ph.D. Rhetoric and Composition program, I came from an elementary, remedial reading background. For the most part I have encountered professors who have helped me enter the conversation, the rhetoric and composition community. However, I have had one professor who professed to be a post-modernist, but in actuality, was a modernist. When I didn't know how to write a rationale, a proposal, a literature review, a research paper, the professor asked, "How in the world did you get into our program?" I was horrified, emotionally upset, and diminished. he professor refused to help me join the conversation. But that was not the worst revelation. Upon reflection I realized that while I had never said those words to any of my students, I had thought them. My attitude had been the same even if I had not vocalized my thoughts; however, thinking influences attitude; attitude influences behavior. I laid the blame in the students. Having experienced the effects of such an attitude caused me to change my thinking and made me more sympathetic toward students who were trying to join the academic community. My intentions were good, but I see that that is not enough. Somehow I must be able to help my students transverse the multiple literacies and recognize what is called for in different contexts. How to do this I am not sure. But at least now I have reflected and see the need for change, yet I still have to figure out how to put traverse from the know to the how.